Sunday, November 12, 2006

His first time!

Okay I know this is my second blog for today, but I have to catch up.

This is a plead to all mothers...Please let your little boys be little boys. Please allow them to flick boogies at each other, run wild through mud, make forts out of anything they can get their hands on and give them a pack of gum once in a while.

Today hubby and I are driving along in our automobile, just having a nice family drive along the lakeshore. Every once in a while I notice hubby checking himself in the rear view mirror. The first couple of times I didn't think much of it. I figured that he maybe checking baby or his teeth. When I finally asked, "what is wrong"? He replies, "What, nothing I am just checking my mouth".

We continued to drive along when out of my peripheral vision I see something drop down his front and he quickly picks it up and places it back in his mouth. I think I may have been in mid story telling and let it pass, but I know I saw it at that time. Then it happens again and I turn to look and stop talking. He is quickly trying to get his gum back into his mouth.

Me: what the hell
Hubby: what???
Me: Is this your first time?
Hubby: What, first time with what?
Me: GUM! Is this your first time with gum?
Hubby: ha. aha ha...no.

It drops out again onto his lap. He picks it up and throws it into his mouth and as I turn to look out my window and shake my head in complete disbelief that I have married this idiot, I hear this hork from the back of his throat. He is now choking on the God damn gum.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me
Hubby: aha...haha...ha, you heard that? I was trying to not choke...more laughter.
Me: Seriously, what the hell are you doing?
Hubby: I am trying to make my gum really long...cut to image of my dumbass driver looking in his rear view at the gum on his tongue, saying not very long yet.
Me: What has your mother done to you.

Please Baby girl could handle a piece of gum better and she only has 2 teeth. By 32, one should be able to chew gum and drive. Moreover, one should be able to lengthen a piece of gum over a half inch for Christ sake. I could rope one down to my tits and manage to keep it in my mouth.

I cannot wait for this week when he takes a day off and I find him eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a fort in our living room.

Clearly I am a mother of 2!

1 comment:

Linda said...

LOL. ah, the joys of being married to a donk!
Thanks for coming back to amuse me!!