Friday, July 27, 2007

Tagged: Random facts

The Rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The game rules are posted at the beginning of the post. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment to let them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Thanks Brianne....

  1. I smell everything! It's true I cannot help myself and most of the time I don't even know that I am doing it. My sister and hubby were sitting on the couch with me one night watching TV, when they witnessed sniff the flyer I was reading. I admit that it is weird, and I am not sure why I sniffed a flyer, but I know what one smells like and it was a source of amusement for my family. I also know how my car cell charger smells before and after use...
  2. Christmas is my ultimate favourite time of the year. In fact I sing Christmas carols year favourite, Let it snow! I become a gentler kinder me. I love the baking, the visiting family and friends, the cards, the pretty gift wrapping, the good food and drink, the excitement of the little kids....everything about it really. I get super nostalgic and forgiving of all those whom I have ill feelings towards. If you wants back in my good books you should try to encounter me at the holidays after a glass of wine.

  3. I am an over analysing, super organizing, list loving, neat freak...also known as a complete joy to live with. I cannot watch a program or commercial without uttering the words, "as if"... This then leads into a detailed break down of why the events unfolding before me are not realistic and complete bullshit. Hubby loses his mind every time and starts the crazy downward hands motions while he states, "God babe, it is strictly for entertainment purposes". Well, I don't find it entertaining and I also don't enjoy how easy it is to solve the CSI crimes within the first 20 minutes...Jesus! In Addition to analyzing, when I am stressed or upset I make lists of things to do then obsessively clean and brings me sweet joy...hubby, not so much.

  4. I hate the's pure evil. I believe in SPF 6000 and lots of shade. I am pastie and proud of it. Tanning beds and oils should be banned....Jesus Christ, respect your skin. I see all these tanned wrinkled old people that look like dried dates and think to myself...that's some tan, she looks 60, but I bet she's 18. PS, Bleached platinum hair and the island tanned skin on a white girl is out! Bo Derek has returned to the ocean she once emerged from, get over yourself.

  5. I get frick'n delirious if I go without a beverage for too long. I will go into a full blown fit of buckled over hysterical laughter accompanied with nasal snorts. I am completely taken over when the fits occur and unable to function. Although amusing, it is very unfortunate when I am driving on the QEW or moving large pieces of furniture. Note: Very embarrassing when I happens and I am alone...I look like I have mental health issues.

  6. I am one funny bitch and I am proud to admit it. I enjoy making people laugh and entertaining them with my quick wit.

  7. My real name is Katherine, but I go by Kate and my nick names are KIT KAT and Snakes, but I have also answered to Ralph, Sherman and Lang in the past.

  8. Random health facts: I was 3 weeks over due and my mom and I almost died at my birth. I had croup every winter until I was 14 and whooping cough twice. I suffer from migraines. I have exceptional hearing. I broke my tailbone 3 times, fractured my skull and fractured 5 vertebrates in my back and neck. I have had a collapsed lung. I lost my first tooth at 7 (pulled) first real loss at 8 and I still have 2 molars that are baby teeth. I still have my appendix, but was never born with tonsils and I could die from a bee sting.

I never claimed to be should all nodding your heads.

Who to tag that Brianne hasn't.....I think many on my friends list have done this already....

Hubby Jeff Jay

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Respect my authoritah!

The Toronto Park Authority has got me by the tits. I have a permit to park at work and have had one every month since 2001. I had to give my permit spot up to a coworker when I left for maternity leave and since returning all hell has broken loose. A request was put in to get my permit reinstated, I was notified that there were outstanding infraction fines. To which I protested and ignored as I know that I have no outstanding tickets....besides they issued my a permit for April, May, June and whatever.

My employer has been going back and forth with them and yesterday she informs me that the fines need to be paid before July 20th or my permit will be sold off to the public...yesterday was the 24th....

So my boss has handed me a report outlining my fines....

First infraction - expired time in green P lot on 5th/6th street - October 11, 2002...$3.25
Second Infraction - expired time in Green P lot on 7th street - July 17, 2006....$10.00

So lets work this out. According to the parking authority lady ALL fines must be paid each month or the following months permit will not be issued.

October 2002...I have had a permit since 2001 that is issued every month, therefore A) why would I then be parking in a paid lot when I have a permit to park behind my building and B) how have a managed to get permits issued every month up to this point?

July 2006...well my boss had to first tell me where 7th street lot was, and after discovering that it was south of Lakeshore and down the street, I said, "stop...listen to what you're saying....I am the laziest S.O.B ever...I would never park down the street to walk back to here". It's not me. A stronger fight is that during the time of the infraction I was on a Maternity leave. I don't live in Toronto and I don't travel to Toronto unless I am going to work. So how could I have parked in a lot that was unknown to me during my Mat leave. I did come into the office for a visit twice which both times I parked at the meters right outside the office doors....again lazy.

My boss took all this to the parking lady and basically she couldn't give a rats ass. It can't be fought and she is no longer interested in entertaining my I will be paying it I guess.

I know it is only $13 bucks...Thank God it could be more and according to parking will bend over and respect my authoritah!

Thursday, July 19, 2007


This morning I was 10 minutes into my highway commute, left lane typical drive, when the silver VW Passot rolls down the window (automatic of course) and flings a wrapper out of his car. Up goes the window and he carries along with his drive.

My jaw is resting on my steering wheel. What the hell is wrong with people. Is littering not one of the fundamental rules we learn as a child.
  • we do not hit
  • we do not lie
  • we do not bite
  • we do not pinch
  • we do run with scissors
  • we wait a half hour after eating before swimming
  • we do not play with matches
  • we do not talk to strangers
  • we look both ways

We all know these rules yet the prick in front of me seems to think that the world outside of his precious car is his own personal toilet. Although I cannot remember the last time a threw a breakfast bar wrapper down the toilet, but I digress. I am now driving along fuming thinking this guy is a menace to society if he so easily tosses aside these simple social norms.

The next thing, down goes the window, out stretched is the arm and ditches a paper of some sort...a note or list if you will. I now am in complete shock. I mean this guy is just cleaning out his car and making a mockery of the rules. I would have loved to have slammed on my horn until he got the point, but I am a mother of a young child and being shot or knifed at the roadside is not an I blog.

This piss ant drove right into Etobicoke dumping shit out of his car as he went merrily along. I did drive up along side of him before I got off and gave him the head shake of disgust, but that message wouldn't have made it through if I had actually grabbed him by his giant melon and shook it myself. I continued to work daydreaming about having a sunroof, pulling in front of him and unload the contents of my car out the hatch at a buck 130 or OHH OHH traffic stops and he is now behind a waste management truck and all of a sudden kaboom...his pretty car in buried in a mountain of crap...nobody injured of course. Haha...yeah that one is a good one...KAAABOOOM tee hee!

Sadly, he was my age and quite frankly my generation knows better than that. I had thought that we were more green forward, but he ruined that idea for me. He's just a self centered, lying, biting, eat while swimming, running with scissors, j-walking, talk to strangers, fire starting, litter pig with an immaculately detailed car.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Fan Club!

How nice is it on a Wednesday afternoon of an insane week to have a co-worker show up at your office door with flowers. Yep, flowers to me from her.

Morganna: Lays flowers on my desk

Me: Morganna! What is did not need to do this.

Morganna: A little sunshine for you!

I have a little fan club here at work and she is in the top 10 for sure! She is a wonderful and strong woman who means a great deal to me. I have learned a lot from Morganna and she is always willing to sit and have a chat with me. She probably deserves the flowers more that I do, but I appreciate the sincere thought and spark of beauty the flowers have brought to my otherwise grey office.

Thank you Morganna you are wonderful!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Rich people hire painters!

After three years of living in a builder white house, we finally decided to paint. My dear hubby is all about the white, he loves white paint and white walls...lazy and unimaginative if you ask me.

Two weekends ago we painted the main level...big job, but it looks great. This weekend was the upstairs and the insane hallway leading upstairs. The Hallway is very high and we had originally decided that we would just pay someone to do it as neither one of us is experienced enough or have the equipment needed for the job. When Hubby's dad (WOP extraordinaire) heard this he said, "forget that I can do problem I have the multi ladder and it will be easy. Don't waste your money". I think he believes that we would rather pay someone because we are too lazy, but whatever.

Cut to Saturday morning. My hubby is up on the staircase trying to configure this 8 in one ladder. When it fails he calls over his dad. Then the two of them are on the staircase with a ladder. I am in the ensuite painting when I hear CRASH...I ask my sister what is happening.

Sarah: Ummm Mark is lying on the floor
Me: Jesus he okay (getting down from my ladder)
Sarah: I don't know I think he tripped up the stairs
FIL: Nope he fell off the ladder
Me: Babe are you okay
Hubby: Lying with his head in his hands...yeah I am winded
FIL: I am surprised the banister held
Me: Dad he is not to be on a ladder...he's an idiot without a helmet!

Everyone returned to painting and hubby peeled himself off the floor. On a side note the hallway looks great and in total hubby fell off the ladder 3 times...FIL nil.

Sarah a.k.a the Paint Witch, thankfully yet against her own will came to help us for the weekend. Took her a little bit to get into the groove with being distracted by the caulk and all, but she was indeed a big help. Even though her lack of painting skills equals a lot of touch ups for me. I know she snuck downstairs a few times I think for nourishment and beverage. She was complaining about being dizzy to which I replied with the my painting motto...Less complaining more painting!

I get focused and obsessive about projects of this nature...must carry on...must finish. I am a perfectionist I'll admit it...I am nuts but the two that I was working with are not. I too did not eat or drink and for those of you who have had the pleasure of hanging out with me during these times (Heather) know that without beverage I can get very giddie and loopy. This occurred many times throughout the day. I think I provided everyone some much needed entertainment. There is a downside to such burns when you

My hubby did sabotage my painting by distracting my with outings, so I was unable to finish everything. I still need to do all the trim in the hallway and upstairs. Also the office needs to be painted and everything needs to be put back in its place. I was lying in bed last night trying to get to sleep. I was tossing and turning just so unable to get comfortable. Hubby finally asked what my issue was. I tried to explain that I cannot sleep when order has not be restored. He laughed, patted me on the shoulder and returned to his slumber. It is true though, I hate an unfinished project and until the last picture is hung and all the paint cans closed up...I will not be at rest.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


We were invited to attend my aunt's birthday party in New Market back in June. I decided that we would leave early and stop at a nursery just outside of New Market to pick her up a gift certificate. Hubby decided that this would be a great opportunity to use his newest gadget TOM TOM. I had already called the nursery to confirm that they existed and whether or not they took debit...yes to both. I later went to their website to look up the address and noticed that they had GPS coordinates. This excited hubby and within minutes they were plugged into the TOM TOM.

Now lets discuss this little (or not so little) gadget. TOM TOM is the software, but hubby being the geek he is has made his own from random and spare parts. Not the sleek and elegant system that retails to the public, but rather this hideously large and awkward situation that rests between the gear shift and console. It also lacks accessories such as a stylist and instead hubby uses a chopstick to navigate his way through the touch screens. Of course this requires a slight tilt to be able to see the screen which requires one hand to steady the unit and one hand to operate the hi-tech chopstick....real safe.

Cut to the family in the SUV traveling down the 407 merrily on their way to New Market. All of a sudden the voice prompt for the unit...we''ll call her Anne.

Anne: Exit Right
me: What, why, aren't we taking the 407?
Hubby: Yeah, she wants us to take the 403 to the 401 to the 400
Anne: Exit right in 4km
Me: But we are on the 407
Anne: Exit Right now
Hubby: I know but..
Anne: Exit now!
Hubby: She is wanting the 401 route.

So we continue with the 407 and the unit is flipping maps and trying to reconfigure what we have done. Anne gets herself back on track and we carry on towards our destination. At canal rd. Anne is back.

Anne: Exit Right in 3 km
Anne: Exit right
Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn left
Anne: veere right in 4km
Anne: Veere right
Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn Left
Anne: You have now reach your destination

Horse shit....We are sitting out in the middle of nowhere...fields.

Me: your TOM TOM sucks ass
Hubby: I am following the coordinates that you gave me.
Me: No, Anne doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.

We continue driving. What the hell are we going to do now. We need a gift for my aunt. Where the hell are we going to go now. Hubby whips out his chopstick and is now looking for points of interest and finds snowball nursery and garden centre. Off we go. We finally arrive in town and it looks promising.

Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn left

We carry on

Anne: Next right turn right
Anne: Turn right
Anne: you have now arrived at your destination
Me: the fuck we have.

We are in what will be a new housing development in a few months. Seriously, Anne needs to pull her head out of her ass.

Hubby: The maps are not able to know when a destination has become a building development.
Me: Then what is the point of having a navigation unit. I could get us lost the old fashion way.

So hubby is now looking up another point of interest....

We did this six time before we found a great one 2 blocks from my aunts home by chance on our own. Thanks for nothing Anne!

He now wants to take is shitty little unit to Quebec with us...No harm I guess, I'll send post cards...I hear Newfoundland is beautiful this time of year!