Friday, February 17, 2006


Here is a quick look into my womb. Hello Baby!!!!!

That is actually baby's foot at it's eye.

Baby yawning...looks less frightening in motion. Notice it has my big mouth.

I think Babe looks like hubby here.

And finally babe with chubby cheeks and it's fist in the eye.

I of course am over the moon that I got to see their little face. Not clear determination of gender so that is still a surprise.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Attention Aimee

I thought that I would update you on a few of my life events to keep you in the loop and show you that I care.

First off I love that you are one of my secret fans, I always thought that you never really liked me. I am glad I was wrong. Mama tells me that you are excited about my babes...I am available anytime for a belly rub.
I tried to get your mom to sneak Honey in her handbag to pool last night, but it was a disappointing no go. Here is a thought for her birthday...a grandma tote.

Yesterday a had a strange encounter in the ladies washroom. I was the only one in there and chose to use the last stall. As I am about to flush a woman comes in and goes into the stall next to me but doesn't lock the door, odd. I continue to pull up my pants and as I flush and open the door I find her standing outside my stall. She pushes by me and locks the door. Literately the toilet water was still yellow and flushing...What the hell! Clearly this woman is a turd burglar. Technically a turd burglar is a person who knocks on your stall door while you are on the toilet, but it will do for this situation just fine. Correct me if I am wrong, but there are 3 other stalls not in use. Why mine, why the pushing...freaks!

I really hate public washrooms and hate how this place is so cheap as to not give us our own restroom. It's dirty, run down and people steal toilet paper and soap. I 've been in my hubbies work washrooms, I know the truth about corporate facilities...not for profit washrooms suck.

My washrooms:
  • Grease leaking from the hydraulic, down the back of the entry door
  • Smell of sewage
  • Old school vinyl tiles which I am sure are asbestos and are covered in grime
  • Four office grey metal stalls which have grime and black finger prints all over them
  • Toilets are definitely a hovercraft situation
  • Industrial toilet paper roll dispenser in hopes of deterring TP thieves
  • Half ply see through, spit through toilet paper that you must use with caution. The slightly bit of moisture cause it to disintegrate, sending your finger right thought it and causing serious damage
  • The wall tiles are rose and green and filthy
  • We have three sinks, 2 in which do not drain and almost all have hair in them
  • 2 Soap dispensers filled with mysterious blue slime, usually both empty
  • The walls are rose and the door, radiator are forest green...Special
  • finally the ceiling is a drop ceiling with the square inserts. They are badly water stained and for almost a year now we have been missing at least one if not two, due to a water leak which may or may not have been fixed

My hubbies facilities

  • Greeted by a cleaner as she is leaving the restroom
  • Large floor pots with silk flowers
  • Smell of soaps and cleaning products
  • 2 floor to ceiling private washroom stalls
  • Marble like if not Marble tiling on the floor and I believe the wall. If not, the wall was nicely painted or papered
  • 3 more regular stalls ...Clean and suitable for human use
  • Sinks with up to date fixtures, no hair balls and nice counter tops
  • Lighting that you would find in your home or a hotel
  • More plants, some hand cream and real soap from the dispenser
  • They even have hand sanitizer pumps

Clearly something is wrong here. I try to hold it until late afternoon when I know it will be my only time in there.

So there you have it...a little something to keep you going.

Enjoy your week off next week.

mama out!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Good morning sunshine

So we are 31 weeks and I am really not sure what that translates into, somewhere in third trimester. I am beginning to feel super tired again and my sleep is becoming less restful as each night passes.

Mornings have never been my favourite event of the day, but this is more true than ever. First off I can hardly believe that I need to pee again. Secondly due to baby's position I am unable to roll over without great discomfort. This morning was a particularly bright one for me.

I opened my wee eyes and turned off the alarm. Then struggled painfully to roll over like a beached baby beluga, while my hubby just lay there and watch his breakfast television. I am finally over and trying to focus on the traffic report when our cat smudgie jumps up onto the bed and is slowly walking up to my head area. Really nothing pisses me off more in the morning than the cats or so I thought. The meowing, the loud purring and the complete violation of my personal space.

Smudgie is now trying to squeeze her fat body between hubby and I, rubbing her ass on my arm. As hubby gets up she takes off and leaves what appears to be a lump of shit on my forearm. I most passed out!

Me: Son of a bitch, oh God (squealing)
DH: What, what
Me: Look at my damn arm, that God damn cat left a cling-on on my arm.
DH: After assessing the situation as I must be lying or something, he is now buckled over in hysterics
Me: (Gagging and trying to not to throw up as I struggle to roll over and get out of bed.) "GET ME SOMETHING TO WIPE THIS"! (my arm in the air)
DH: Not moving, just laughing and holding his damn belly. "Oh God to funny, Oh God".
Me: Seriously babe I will throw up.
DH: struggles to get some TP and comes back still unable to catch his breath.
Me: Nice morning!

So I am in the shower vigorously scrubbing my arm as I think, nobody should have to wake up this way. I am in a no better situation than a homeless guy waking up to a dog peeing on him. It's wrong. Who walks away from a litter with a cling on. Better yet who wipes it on the person that provides you a home and food.

Bottom line...Cat for Sale!