Monday, April 30, 2007

Tight Pants

I am back at work and basically hit the floor running. I arrived to find two doe-eyed students standing in my office summer staff. They are eagerly looking to me for instruction and orientation. Are they kidding me, do they know I had to ask the lady in the Tim Hortons drive thur speak what I wanted this morning?

As I was trying to string a sentence together and appear professional I was reminded of one of my first days at this place.

I was hired on every summer just as these two were, to work the summer program. This is the summer I met Merissa, my current boss just over 5 years ago. We were hired on together as the summer counsellors and met briefly at the interview. Really we were strangers.

I was getting ready the morning of my first day, the only day to make a first impression. I had decided that I was going to wear my favourite brown pants and a chunky cream cable knit sweater. When I got up that morning I realized that my favourite pants were a little snug. Okay snug is a poor choice of words seeing that I practically had to lie down to do them up, but they were my favourite and despite being tight...they didn't look tight, they actually looked good. (I was much skinnier then). I was running late and figured that they would loosen up over the day, as they were freshly washed...the ladies know what I am talking about.

As I was driving into work I was distracted by the uncomfortableness of my pants and began to think that I had made a fashion mishap, but I couldn't turn back now. I got to work and Merissa and I got the grand tour and staff introductions which took about an hour or so. I was beginning to feel the constriction of my pants so bad that it was 3 weeks before I learned have the names of the people on the tour. We returned back to our office and I was feeling like my pelvis was going to snap. Merissa (still clueless to my pant situation) and I got settled into our new office and then there it chair! I began to sweat a bit, Merissa sitting and spinning around in her, asks whats wrong?
Me: what...distracted by the crushing pain.
Merissa: whats wrong have a seat
Me: right a seat, yeah in a bit
Merissa: did you want this desk
Me: no, no this is good. it's um, well ahh shit it's my pants.
Merissa: what
Me: my pants, I am wearing tight pants and I think I am doing internal damage as we speak.
Merissa: they don't look tight
Me: I know, they look good eh, But they might actually be the death of me
Merissa: is now killing herself

I ease down into my chair with a slight moan and while sitting on a 120 degree angle, try to figure out how the hell I am going to make it through the rest of my day. Tracy my best friend and boss at the time comes into the office and I am doing a shallow pant. The act of breathing was agonizing. Merissa informs her that I am wearing tights pants and not functioning. They are both laughing when I realize what the hell am I going to do if I need to pee? If I undo these pants it's over. I ask Tracy, as my best friend and someone who has committed to this relationship, if she is prepared to assist me in the washroom with getting my pants back on? Now her and Merissa are laughing and I am trying not to but the pain is making me delirious. I am serious, if I undo these pants I will never get them back up and it will be a tad obvious that I am walking around the office with my pants wide open. I am going to need help...I had visions of me rolling around on my back on the bathroom floor heaving on my zipper. I decided then that peeing was no longer an option, so I will forgo lunch and any beverage.

I spend the next two and a half hours pacing around our office moaning, "ohhh my pants, my tight pants". My mom calls and Merissa answers, she is laughing so hard that she can hardly stand. My mom is calling to check up on my first day. All I could manage to get out is, "ma somethings gotta give". I finally explain to her that I have the tightest pants in the world on and I might die. She informs me that I should have made a better selection. Why would I leave the house with tight pants, don't I know that that the body expands throughout the day. That they will just get progressively worst. What was I thinking? Merissa is killing herself.
Finally Tracy let us go home early as I swore I was internally bleeding. I drove home with my pants around my thighs and wore a sundress the next day.

Ladies my advise if the pants are snug, the shoes hurt while walking to the car or the sweater is will NOT get any better and will only consume your day. On the flip side it will make you giggle at random times like during your orientation with new staff.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Witness protection program.

Hubby and I have long discussed the idea of selling our current home and moving into something that will do us until we head over to shady pines. Something that our kids can call home forever, permanent roots. I would like a fourth bedroom, a finished basement, a larger yard, some windows (townhouse), but it is really just wishes at this point (are you taking notes Colleen). It's really a space issue for me. I am a neat freak and clutter is not allowed, even so I am feeling limited for space. I would think much of it has to do with baby girl and her endless supplies and such. This is our second home we have owned since we've been married and I see a pattern forming here.

I have had my fill of packing, unpacking and finding new places to put my crap. The last place I came home one Thursday night to find an agent sitting at my dining room table.
me- Hello
Hubby - Babe this is Joel, he's selling our house!
Me- Riiiigggghhht
Joel - It will be on the market Monday ( with a big smiling on his face)
hubby - great eh?
Me - riiigggghhhttt....babe bedroom now!

The place sold 7 days later and our belongings went into storage for a year.

It turns out that for once in his wee life my hubby was right and it was the push I needed. I hate to move. I hate everything about it and I hate the thought of putting baby girl through that over and over.

I mentioned in a post a while back that I moved a lot as a kid. Much like we were in the witness protection program. I have lived in ........moment to count....
16th street
Shale Oak
Toll Court
Jennings Cres
Walkers line
and my Current address....haha stalkers!!!!!!!!!
nine homes.

I am 32 and my first move I was 9 years old....ohhhh spooky 9 again.
I remember 9 because I was at camp. Doe Lake, if you'd like details with the girl guides. I went away for the week. I remember packing all my things my shorts and tees with names tags ironed on the insides, toiletries, like I'd brush my teeth at nine if my mom wasn't there and my panties of course in case we baked!
What I don't remember was packing up any household items.

I had a great time away from home and Remember getting off the bus after a week away from home and running up to my parents, who were eagerly awaiting my arrival. We got in the car and as we drove I heard the words most of us would only think was a joke...Kate we moved.

me- moved what
mom- house, we moved to a new house
me- you moved, what about me
mom- you moved too
me- No I was at camp.

Yep my parents up and moved the week while I was away. They figured that it would just upset me if I knew before I went away. Not only did they move but they move to a completely different part of the city. I was not going to be able to go to the same school, or play with the same friends. I thank my parents now as we were living in Skidville, but I think the process did emotional damage and now I am Leary of moving and camping for that matter.

My moms favourite saying is, " yes we are moving, but it is only a 10 minute drive from the old place". My parents are currently living an hour and 20 minutes away from the house on 16th street!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Birthday Thank you

I had another wonderful birhtday this year. On Friday night hubby took me out for dinner sans baby girl. I love her, but catering to her during a meal was not my idea of a nice night out.
We had a good time and many thanks to mu hubby for all his efforts in maing me happy!

On Saturday I was invited to Linda and Robs for a birthday dinner. The food and company was wonderful and I really had a great time. Many thanks to you Linda and your family for another wonderful occassion.

On Sunday we headed over to my folks place for a BBQ and some cake. The kids got a chance to play together and I had a really nice time.

Again many thanks to my friends and family for another great's to many more.