Friday, July 22, 2005

No Judging

Hubby and I went out for dinner last night. After I let him know that I needed to go to Shoppers to purchase a few things.

As noted in previous posts I am required to take bum pellets which I have decided against. I have a friend at work who is getting the same fertility treatment as me and she suggested that I re-route the pellets. I am going to take her advice as she is preggers with twins.

So hubby and I go into Shoppers and he follows me around as I collect my items. Just as we are walking down the last isle he says, "this is an interesting purchase, I wonder what the cashier will think". I start to laugh as I scan over my items, yeah this is a little bizarre. It's a drugstore though, people go there to buy unmentionable items. So I approached the cashier who was young and seemed like she would have a good sense of humour. I placed my items on the counter and say, "don't judge me, the situation is complicated".

Here is my purchase:
  • 1 yeast infection kit - All I really needed was the damn applicator for my pellets
  • 1 box of pregnancy tests - Pellets stop your period and I have been instructed to test when it should be due
  • 2 different packs of pantie liners
  • 1 smores bar
    • The girl was really nice and let me know that this is not weird. Weird and uncomfortable was the odd man who came in late one night and purchase 10 boxes of condoms and rubber gloves!

      Kate :o)

      Wednesday, July 20, 2005

      The Crazy Things We Do!

      I would like to start off by saying that is in no way an attack on my roommate and in fact she reads my blogs and I have her permission to poke fun at her.

      I am observant and analytical in nature and have noticed odd little things that my roommate of 2 1/2 months does.

      A few weeks ago roomies cupboard was ajar, so I tried to close it. When it wouldn't budge I opened it to see the obstruction. The problem wasn't anything in particular just an over packed cupboard. It was like she was in the middle of game of non-perishable Jenga. Just before I closed the cupboard I noticed something odd, she had what appeared to be 3 or 4 boxes of Jello. Now I don't make it a habit of snooping, but I am interested. What is an almost 30 year old doing with 4 boxes of Jello? Then I noticed the shelf above, it would seem that the 3 or 4 boxes that I had found were overflow! In total I counted 10 boxes of Jello...What the hell. I would not have thought this to be funny if she had a couple kids or actually ate the shit, but in the 2 1/2 months I had never seen her make, eat or store a made batch of Jello in my home. Is there a shortage I am not aware of? Is it Feng Shui, do the miniature boxes promote positive Chi to the home? Was she denied Jello as a child and keeping an abundance of the powder crystals make her feel accomplished?
      I don't understand and I don't have Jello of my own (muchly due to the fact that I cannot stand the shit) but good to know that roomie has extra. So I chalked it up to a weird encounter and thought nothing more of it.

      More on roomies food intake, she has got a shit load of food. I have daily arguments with the freezer as roomie has so much prepared frozen meals again piled like a Jenga game and they all come crashing out. The other week I open the freezer to get ice and noticed that there were 2 new tubs of ice cream. Hey I am not against ice cream, but she already has a half tub in there and again I have never seen her with a bowl of it. So the impulse buy has spilled over from Jello to ice cream, perfect.

      Hubby and I arrived home one Friday night after a get together with an old friend from out of country. I was pretty tanked and needed a beverage in attempts to dilute the alcohol and avoid a hangover. So I open the fridge grab a pop and then notice a pitcher of blue juice (kool-aid) and a tall glass of blue juice sitting right beside it. So I question to myself, "what is happening here"? It's kind of like CSI only with less blood splatter. So we have a glass of juice which she must have wanted and poured, but she decided not to drink it...hmmmm. Was she quickly called away? No she's upstairs sleeping. Did she find a better beverage choice and forgo the blue juice? Did she realize that she was to be fasting or not allowed that amount of sugar at this hour? Again I carry on and go to bed noting this discovery as odd things roomie does.

      Last week I was responsible for going to check on Tracy's cats while she was on vacation. I get home and I am planning to go out with another friend for dinner and the plan will be to swing by and check the cats. My dinner plans fell threw and now roomie has parked behind me. I am in the kitchen making something to eat and roomie comes in.
      roomie: Hey, aren't you going out to eat
      Me: Nah, I didn't hear back so I am making something
      Roomie: ah nice
      me: hey, I need to go to Tracy's to check the cats
      roomie: well maybe we could go over together so I don't have to jockey cars
      me: okay, I'll eat first and then we can go
      roomie: yeah ok...and goes upstairs

      So I am finishing my tubular meat on a bun, when roomie resurfaces this time with her purse in hand.
      Roomie: why are you sitting so close to the TV? (she walks into the kitchen)
      Me: I am just finishing dinner and waiting to go
      roomie: what are you watching, oh okay, yeah (a little out of her mind)
      me: okay Dancer you stay here. I get up and close the basement door, pick up the cat food and head for the front door
      Roomie: heads up stairs
      me: maybe she has to tinkle, maybe she forgot something...I'll wait

      Roomie never resurfaces and after a half hour of waiting I think screw it. So I go upstairs to play SIMS. I am sitting in the office and I hear music. What the hell are the neighbours doing over there? Then it hits me I think it is coming from roomies room. I put my ear against the wall and sure enough it's coming from her room. I listen and hear, "Billy Jean is not my lover..."? What the hell, she blew me off for a Michael Jackson special, what's going on in there. So we are driving into work the next morning and roomie states that she fell asleep in her clothes last night. So you didn't hear the Michael Jackson special and what happened about Tracy's I asked. She looks at me like I have my head on backwards. I said, "I asked you if you were ready, you came down with your handbag and I got ready to leave and you never came back". Now you are saying that you went upstairs and fell asleep. I am picturing you sitting on the edge of your bed and then somehow passing out with your handbag in your clutches.
      Seriously I think she suffers from Narcolepsy. This is not the only time that she has announced in the car pool that she fell asleep in her clothes at 7pm and woke up this morning with her make up smeared across her face. I can't fall asleep and she can't stay awake nice.

      All this odd behaviour got me thinking, I must do crazy things too. So I have been thinking about it and here is what I have come up with.
      1. I can never remember if I have tomato paste so I buy 2 cans everytime I go shopping and sure enough I had some so I have a collection of tiny cans.
      2. I am obsessed about my cleaning. I cannot clean all the time, but it does make me happy to be cleaning and anxious if I haven't had time to clean. It didn't seem odd to me until I was upset the other day about my sink having water and shit in it. I like the sink wiped dry...Odd.
      3. I never eat the part of the nacho that I am holding onto. When I eat nachos I use a discard plate (ask Heather), but this excludes naked nacho chips that I am dipping into salsa, then I eat the whole thing. And Dorito chips....Well I don't eat the chip at all (embarrassed), it's just empty calories.
      4. I arrange and eat my food according to what I like to best. First no foods can touch. Second I eat the food that I like the least first and save the best for last. If it is popcorn with seasoning I eat the plainer ones first and save what I like to refer to as my good men, to eat last. This drives Mark up the wall.
      5. Lastly, but not the end of my craziness...I smell everything. My dad does, my brother does and yet me too. Clean laundry, dirty laundry, food when I buy it, when I make it and when I eat it. Dog cookies, blankets, shower curtain, pillows, everything. I cannot explain it and trust me although many things in this world smell fantastic, many others do not...I have been burned.

      I am sure many of you have crazy things that you do and maybe you know of things I do that I have over looked. Or maybe it is a thing that someone close to you does that you just don't understand. Please share a few of the crazy things we do, it will make us all feel a little more normal.

      K out

      Wednesday, July 13, 2005

      Construction and fertility don't mix

      So I am at the point in my "treatment" where I am required to visit the fertility clinic every morning for 5 days for a gentle probing (internal ultrasound) to check my egg growth.
      They gave me this drug which I took for several days and it has seriously messed me up. I like to refer to them as my crazy pills. Even though I have stopped taking them I am still getting the hot flashes, mood swings and my tolerance is much less than usual which wasn't much to start with. I think it is a combo of my body ridding the drugs and the stress of just everything I am trying to balance in my life. I am on the edge for sure LOL.

      So I am nearing the clinic yesterday with 3 minutes to spare, make my right hand turn and the road is closed, Jesus H Christ. I make a U turn and go back up to the service road as the sign has stated. This is where I discover that the road can only be accessed south bound and I am of course traveling North. So I go up to the next set of lights and wait for 2 red lights before I can make my left hand turn as I am in rush hour traffic with a bunch of suburbanites . I pull another U turn and I am becoming increasingly irate. Now I am south bound and I make my turn to the service road and loop back around to the same place I made the first U turn, what the F'*k! Did I pass out for a few moments, was I abducted why the hell am I back here.
      I am hopped up on crazy meds, lacking my coffee and quickly losing my patience, I decide now to attempt the closed road. I pull in and I am met by a middle aged black man who could be the spokes person for Malibu Rum. I roll down my window and he leans on my door and into my space.

      Me: I need into that building (frantically pointing) the one not even 20 feet away, I am very...

      Malibu: Shhh, Shhh, Shhh (making stroking motions with his hands) pretty lady don't get upset now

      Me: seriously I don't have time for this, who the hell blocks the entrance to a fertility clinic, are you not able to do this shit at night. Time it's all about timing.

      Malibu: Ah lady, you are pretty when your mad and you're pretty when you're not mad, either way I win, Ha Ha Ha. Now up ahead ya, the road is all messed up I cannot let you go through.

      Me: Do not patronize me I am about to lose it, Get me into that building. ( I am now at the end of my rope, he is chuckling at me and telling me I am cute when I am shouting at him and I am having the worst hot flash yet. I can feel my cheeks on fire and I am sweating to death. I am about to hurt this guy.

      Malibu: Okay, Okay pretty, clam down and I will tell you the way to get around here, but first you need to be clam and smile....let me see that pretty smile.

      Me: STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR ASSHOLE.... I slam it in reverse hit and take out 3 highway cones and a curb and peel off down the dirt road. I am now just shy of a half hour late and pretty sure I am about to hurt someone badly...oh super I am now crying, suck it up bitch we have no time for that (I have developed 2 other personalities to keep in check).

      I pull yet another U turn and once again I am traveling North bound knowing full on that I am going to have to sit at that damn intersection again, because I can only access the service road SOUTH BOUND AHHH.

      I finally locate the road to the back of the clinic park my car quickly scan for damage, none and run into the clinic. I catch a glimspe at myself in the elevator mirrors and I have morphed into a giant red puff eyed, hyperventilating, coffee deprived, sweaty beast.

      I get into the office and the nicest woman in the world says, "Oh sweetie...Construction while on fertility meds"? "You're not our first". Immediately all was well in the world, I chuckled and with in seconds I had an upswing and I am hap, hap, happy. I am a God damn freak.

      I will take this time to apologize to anyone (especially my hubby and co-workers) I have encountered over the past 3 weeks that I may have scared, offended or upset....I am sorry. :o(

      Good news I have three eggs that are growing nicely.
      Better news I don't have to go back until Thursday.
      Best news I know to get coffee first and know the exact route in to avoid Malibu.

      Nutter out

      Monday, July 11, 2005

      The food network pays off

      My hubby is simply obsessed with the food channel. He watches it religiously so much that friends of our comment how they know at anytime of the day they can come in at it will be on. So while some of the shows are okay most I chop up and shout things at the TV.

      For instance there is a program Everyday Italian. I watched it for a few weeks before I could pin point what was off. I finally hit me...She's a bobble head in the nicest way. She is a very petite woman, narrow shoulders and this gargantuan cranium. It's very distracting and I have a hard time holding back commentary on how the camera angles are not helping her situation.

      Anyway, hubby has been particularity interested in License to Grill which is all about BBQing. This guy has 4 different BBQ's and a fully functioning outdoor kitchen which lays pool/hot side and we do not. However this has not stopped hubby from taking on new BBQ challenges. The newest craze in our home is smoking. A few weekends ago hubby and I picked up fresh chicken wings and mesquite wood chips at our local grocery store. He marinade the wings in peanut sauce and then smoked them low and slow on the BBQ. Now we only have the one BBQ, conflict the guy on TV does his veggies in a separate BBQ...How is hubby going to do his corn? He decides to smoke it.
      Now I hate corn. Corn does stuff to my digestive track that is equivalent to drinking draino and therefore I stay away from it. I will even go as far as picking it out of prepared foods as corn seems to be an international filler.

      So we sit down to eat, the wings are wonderful. You can taste the peanuts, you can taste the mesquite...So good. Then hubby bites into a piece of corn and starts with, "OMG babe you have got to try this, really try this". He is going at this cob like a wild man and I am thinking what the hell it's corn. So I finally give in to shut him up and oh dear God...Smoke your corn. I was the best shit I have every put in my mouth. It had some crazy nostalgic memory of summers as a child, my cottage and camping. I damn near cried. I continued to eat it fully knowing what was in store for me. I didn't care. I eat stillton cheese on a regular bases which I have to take migraine medicine first and deal with headaches that night. I drink and deal with hangovers in the morning. I shall eat smoked and only smoked corn and deal with my colon later cause it is that good.

      We have since smoked ribs which were amazing and of course more corn. Screw buddy and is 4 BBQ's.

      Moral of the story....smoke your corn!

      Thursday, July 07, 2005

      The Mother Land In Crisis

      I just wanted to let those of you who are aware of my hubby's (Mark) business trip to London, England that he is home and doing fine. He left there Wednesday Morning and was home yesterday afternoon. Linda you are right...his lazy safe ass is in bed with jet lag.

      I would like to thank all of you for your phone calls and emails/posts that were worried and concerned for his well being.

      I would like to also express my sadness and again that uneasy feeling that I feel this morning for those who are coping with the horrific acts in London. I am reminded how surreal and out of my control it felt with 911 and here I am again experiencing the same feelings. I guess it stems from that fact that I cannot wrap my mind around the concept of planning and executing such massive destruction that will alter and cease the lives of thousands of innocent people.
      I am a helper, it's what I was born to do. I help those I have just met, those I will never meet and those who mean the world to me. I am a bitch, but I don't have it in me to purposely plot out hurt and pain onto someone else.

      I was tearful while watching the events thinking about how close Mark could have come. How I worry so when he is out of town about his safety, as the people involved are innocent and just in the wrong place at the wrong time. How even if he was alright, the possibilities that I may not know for hours or days would be torture. I know that if Mark were still in London now, I would be out of my mind with fear and panic.

      I am consumed with empathy for everyone who has not heard news and for those who have been injured or lost their lives and I would like to extend my thoughts and prayers to all.


      Wednesday, July 06, 2005


      I left my home this morning, lock my door and continued down the step when I noticed a pile of sod at the end of Skipper's driveway. What the hell?I scaned the lawn for damage and yep there is a 4x4 square of sod that has been lifted from their side of the lawn. No rythem or reason just a random naked patch of grass, about halfway down the lawn. I can only pray that the city is coming to repair something, otherwise I need to declare the "Matel" family nextdoor as clinically insane.

      I really need to get my camera and take some photos of this situation!

      peace out

      Tuesday, July 05, 2005

      And there you have it

      Last Thursday before the long weekend I had been over at my parents place for most of the day and night and had not yet been home. Upon arriving home my roommate asks me if I knew that Ken and Barbie were moving?

      me: Yeah, they are moving to BC or something and I figure that is why they had the garage sale.

      Roomie: Ah no, did you know that they were moving today?

      Me: no, no I did not. Are they?

      Roomie: They did. I came home from work and there was the moving truck and they were emptying the contents of their home into it.

      Me: NOOOOOO, were is the open house? Why isn't it on the market? Where are my new fun neighbours? For Christ Sakes!

      Roomie: I don't know but they are gone.

      The next morning I got up and packed the car as we were going away to a friends cottage, and I notice a car in their driveway. It had a cutesy license plate and I remember from the garage sale. Shit I bet they are not selling the house, they are instead going to prolong my agony and rent it to her or his sister. Son of a bitch, the garden is going to stay!

      So it has been a few days now and no signs of Ken and Barbie and I have not seen the person that owns the car either. So I guess that I am stuck with Skipper, Barbie's younger sister.

      Aside from that I had a wonderful weekend and will blog about that one later.