So I am at the point in my "treatment" where I am required to visit the fertility clinic every morning for 5 days for a gentle probing (internal ultrasound) to check my egg growth.
They gave me this drug which I took for several days and it has seriously messed me up. I like to refer to them as my crazy pills. Even though I have stopped taking them I am still getting the hot flashes, mood swings and my tolerance is much less than usual which wasn't much to start with. I think it is a combo of my body ridding the drugs and the stress of just everything I am trying to balance in my life. I am on the edge for sure LOL.
So I am nearing the clinic yesterday with 3 minutes to spare, make my right hand turn and the road is closed, Jesus H Christ. I make a U turn and go back up to the service road as the sign has stated. This is where I discover that the road can only be accessed south bound and I am of course traveling North. So I go up to the next set of lights and wait for 2 red lights before I can make my left hand turn as I am in rush hour traffic with a bunch of suburbanites . I pull another U turn and I am becoming increasingly irate. Now I am south bound and I make my turn to the service road and loop back around to the same place I made the first U turn, what the F'*k! Did I pass out for a few moments, was I abducted why the hell am I back here.
I am hopped up on crazy meds, lacking my coffee and quickly losing my patience, I decide now to attempt the closed road. I pull in and I am met by a middle aged black man who could be the spokes person for Malibu Rum. I roll down my window and he leans on my door and into my space.
Me: I need into that building (frantically pointing) the one not even 20 feet away, I am very...
Malibu: Shhh, Shhh, Shhh (making stroking motions with his hands) pretty lady don't get upset now
Me: seriously I don't have time for this, who the hell blocks the entrance to a fertility clinic, are you not able to do this shit at night. Time it's all about timing.
Malibu: Ah lady, you are pretty when your mad and you're pretty when you're not mad, either way I win, Ha Ha Ha. Now up ahead ya, the road is all messed up I cannot let you go through.
Me: Do not patronize me I am about to lose it, Get me into that building. ( I am now at the end of my rope, he is chuckling at me and telling me I am cute when I am shouting at him and I am having the worst hot flash yet. I can feel my cheeks on fire and I am sweating to death. I am about to hurt this guy.
Malibu: Okay, Okay pretty, clam down and I will tell you the way to get around here, but first you need to be clam and smile....let me see that pretty smile.
Me: STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR ASSHOLE.... I slam it in reverse hit and take out 3 highway cones and a curb and peel off down the dirt road. I am now just shy of a half hour late and pretty sure I am about to hurt someone badly...oh super I am now crying, suck it up bitch we have no time for that (I have developed 2 other personalities to keep in check).
I pull yet another U turn and once again I am traveling North bound knowing full on that I am going to have to sit at that damn intersection again, because I can only access the service road SOUTH BOUND AHHH.
I finally locate the road to the back of the clinic park my car quickly scan for damage, none and run into the clinic. I catch a glimspe at myself in the elevator mirrors and I have morphed into a giant red puff eyed, hyperventilating, coffee deprived, sweaty beast.
I get into the office and the nicest woman in the world says, "Oh sweetie...Construction while on fertility meds"? "You're not our first". Immediately all was well in the world, I chuckled and with in seconds I had an upswing and I am hap, hap, happy. I am a God damn freak.
I will take this time to apologize to anyone (especially my hubby and co-workers) I have encountered over the past 3 weeks that I may have scared, offended or upset....I am sorry. :o(
Good news I have three eggs that are growing nicely.
Better news I don't have to go back until Thursday.
Best news I know to get coffee first and know the exact route in to avoid Malibu.