Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Crazy Things We Do!

I would like to start off by saying that is in no way an attack on my roommate and in fact she reads my blogs and I have her permission to poke fun at her.

I am observant and analytical in nature and have noticed odd little things that my roommate of 2 1/2 months does.

A few weeks ago roomies cupboard was ajar, so I tried to close it. When it wouldn't budge I opened it to see the obstruction. The problem wasn't anything in particular just an over packed cupboard. It was like she was in the middle of game of non-perishable Jenga. Just before I closed the cupboard I noticed something odd, she had what appeared to be 3 or 4 boxes of Jello. Now I don't make it a habit of snooping, but I am interested. What is an almost 30 year old doing with 4 boxes of Jello? Then I noticed the shelf above, it would seem that the 3 or 4 boxes that I had found were overflow! In total I counted 10 boxes of Jello...What the hell. I would not have thought this to be funny if she had a couple kids or actually ate the shit, but in the 2 1/2 months I had never seen her make, eat or store a made batch of Jello in my home. Is there a shortage I am not aware of? Is it Feng Shui, do the miniature boxes promote positive Chi to the home? Was she denied Jello as a child and keeping an abundance of the powder crystals make her feel accomplished?
I don't understand and I don't have Jello of my own (muchly due to the fact that I cannot stand the shit) but good to know that roomie has extra. So I chalked it up to a weird encounter and thought nothing more of it.

More on roomies food intake, she has got a shit load of food. I have daily arguments with the freezer as roomie has so much prepared frozen meals again piled like a Jenga game and they all come crashing out. The other week I open the freezer to get ice and noticed that there were 2 new tubs of ice cream. Hey I am not against ice cream, but she already has a half tub in there and again I have never seen her with a bowl of it. So the impulse buy has spilled over from Jello to ice cream, perfect.

Hubby and I arrived home one Friday night after a get together with an old friend from out of country. I was pretty tanked and needed a beverage in attempts to dilute the alcohol and avoid a hangover. So I open the fridge grab a pop and then notice a pitcher of blue juice (kool-aid) and a tall glass of blue juice sitting right beside it. So I question to myself, "what is happening here"? It's kind of like CSI only with less blood splatter. So we have a glass of juice which she must have wanted and poured, but she decided not to drink it...hmmmm. Was she quickly called away? No she's upstairs sleeping. Did she find a better beverage choice and forgo the blue juice? Did she realize that she was to be fasting or not allowed that amount of sugar at this hour? Again I carry on and go to bed noting this discovery as odd things roomie does.

Last week I was responsible for going to check on Tracy's cats while she was on vacation. I get home and I am planning to go out with another friend for dinner and the plan will be to swing by and check the cats. My dinner plans fell threw and now roomie has parked behind me. I am in the kitchen making something to eat and roomie comes in.
roomie: Hey, aren't you going out to eat
Me: Nah, I didn't hear back so I am making something
Roomie: ah nice
me: hey, I need to go to Tracy's to check the cats
roomie: well maybe we could go over together so I don't have to jockey cars
me: okay, I'll eat first and then we can go
roomie: yeah ok...and goes upstairs

So I am finishing my tubular meat on a bun, when roomie resurfaces this time with her purse in hand.
Roomie: why are you sitting so close to the TV? (she walks into the kitchen)
Me: I am just finishing dinner and waiting to go
roomie: what are you watching, oh okay, yeah (a little out of her mind)
me: okay Dancer you stay here. I get up and close the basement door, pick up the cat food and head for the front door
Roomie: heads up stairs
me: maybe she has to tinkle, maybe she forgot something...I'll wait

Roomie never resurfaces and after a half hour of waiting I think screw it. So I go upstairs to play SIMS. I am sitting in the office and I hear music. What the hell are the neighbours doing over there? Then it hits me I think it is coming from roomies room. I put my ear against the wall and sure enough it's coming from her room. I listen and hear, "Billy Jean is not my lover..."? What the hell, she blew me off for a Michael Jackson special, what's going on in there. So we are driving into work the next morning and roomie states that she fell asleep in her clothes last night. So you didn't hear the Michael Jackson special and what happened about Tracy's I asked. She looks at me like I have my head on backwards. I said, "I asked you if you were ready, you came down with your handbag and I got ready to leave and you never came back". Now you are saying that you went upstairs and fell asleep. I am picturing you sitting on the edge of your bed and then somehow passing out with your handbag in your clutches.
Seriously I think she suffers from Narcolepsy. This is not the only time that she has announced in the car pool that she fell asleep in her clothes at 7pm and woke up this morning with her make up smeared across her face. I can't fall asleep and she can't stay awake nice.

All this odd behaviour got me thinking, I must do crazy things too. So I have been thinking about it and here is what I have come up with.
  1. I can never remember if I have tomato paste so I buy 2 cans everytime I go shopping and sure enough I had some so I have a collection of tiny cans.
  2. I am obsessed about my cleaning. I cannot clean all the time, but it does make me happy to be cleaning and anxious if I haven't had time to clean. It didn't seem odd to me until I was upset the other day about my sink having water and shit in it. I like the sink wiped dry...Odd.
  3. I never eat the part of the nacho that I am holding onto. When I eat nachos I use a discard plate (ask Heather), but this excludes naked nacho chips that I am dipping into salsa, then I eat the whole thing. And Dorito chips....Well I don't eat the chip at all (embarrassed), it's just empty calories.
  4. I arrange and eat my food according to what I like to best. First no foods can touch. Second I eat the food that I like the least first and save the best for last. If it is popcorn with seasoning I eat the plainer ones first and save what I like to refer to as my good men, to eat last. This drives Mark up the wall.
  5. Lastly, but not the end of my craziness...I smell everything. My dad does, my brother does and yet me too. Clean laundry, dirty laundry, food when I buy it, when I make it and when I eat it. Dog cookies, blankets, shower curtain, pillows, everything. I cannot explain it and trust me although many things in this world smell fantastic, many others do not...I have been burned.

I am sure many of you have crazy things that you do and maybe you know of things I do that I have over looked. Or maybe it is a thing that someone close to you does that you just don't understand. Please share a few of the crazy things we do, it will make us all feel a little more normal.

K out


No sex in the city said...

Your roomie sounds absolutely delightful, a pleasure to live with! Where can I find such a fantastic roomie???

But seriously, your blog about me couldn't possibly be more true to life. Good times. I also suspect that I may have a touch of narcolepsy. But in the interests of keeping my driver's license, let's never speak of this again.

I can't think of anything weird Kate does that she didn't already mention. I get to witness the bizarre food rituals daily at lunch - Mr. Fries get eaten before Mr. Hamburger. I'd like to add that the man of the house watches the Food Network incessantly and I recently found myself watching a Texas Beef Cook Off by choice!

Cheers :)

Aimee said...

I'm with you on the food thing. I eat all the good stuff last, and I think it might be a bad habbit, as it constantly causes me to eat until I feel sick.

If I'd have just eaten the steak first, I wouldn't need the potatos at all....

Kim said...

Oh honey, a single day in my house will cure you of smelling dirty laundry.