Tuesday, July 10, 2007


We were invited to attend my aunt's birthday party in New Market back in June. I decided that we would leave early and stop at a nursery just outside of New Market to pick her up a gift certificate. Hubby decided that this would be a great opportunity to use his newest gadget TOM TOM. I had already called the nursery to confirm that they existed and whether or not they took debit...yes to both. I later went to their website to look up the address and noticed that they had GPS coordinates. This excited hubby and within minutes they were plugged into the TOM TOM.

Now lets discuss this little (or not so little) gadget. TOM TOM is the software, but hubby being the geek he is has made his own from random and spare parts. Not the sleek and elegant system that retails to the public, but rather this hideously large and awkward situation that rests between the gear shift and console. It also lacks accessories such as a stylist and instead hubby uses a chopstick to navigate his way through the touch screens. Of course this requires a slight tilt to be able to see the screen which requires one hand to steady the unit and one hand to operate the hi-tech chopstick....real safe.

Cut to the family in the SUV traveling down the 407 merrily on their way to New Market. All of a sudden the voice prompt for the unit...we''ll call her Anne.

Anne: Exit Right
me: What, why, aren't we taking the 407?
Hubby: Yeah, she wants us to take the 403 to the 401 to the 400
Anne: Exit right in 4km
Me: But we are on the 407
Anne: Exit Right now
Hubby: I know but..
Anne: Exit now!
Hubby: She is wanting the 401 route.

So we continue with the 407 and the unit is flipping maps and trying to reconfigure what we have done. Anne gets herself back on track and we carry on towards our destination. At canal rd. Anne is back.

Anne: Exit Right in 3 km
Anne: Exit right
Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn left
Anne: veere right in 4km
Anne: Veere right
Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn Left
Anne: You have now reach your destination

Horse shit....We are sitting out in the middle of nowhere...fields.

Me: your TOM TOM sucks ass
Hubby: I am following the coordinates that you gave me.
Me: No, Anne doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.

We continue driving. What the hell are we going to do now. We need a gift for my aunt. Where the hell are we going to go now. Hubby whips out his chopstick and is now looking for points of interest and finds snowball nursery and garden centre. Off we go. We finally arrive in town and it looks promising.

Anne: Next left turn left
Anne: Turn left

We carry on

Anne: Next right turn right
Anne: Turn right
Anne: you have now arrived at your destination
Me: the fuck we have.

We are in what will be a new housing development in a few months. Seriously, Anne needs to pull her head out of her ass.

Hubby: The maps are not able to know when a destination has become a building development.
Me: Then what is the point of having a navigation unit. I could get us lost the old fashion way.

So hubby is now looking up another point of interest....

We did this six time before we found a great one 2 blocks from my aunts home by chance on our own. Thanks for nothing Anne!

He now wants to take is shitty little unit to Quebec with us...No harm I guess, I'll send post cards...I hear Newfoundland is beautiful this time of year!


Jeff said...


Heather said...

God you crack me up, Kate! It sounds as if "Anne" may need a little fine tuning. Either that or you have to take your act on the road and I'll be your manager. We'll make millions! LOL

Anyway, I hope you guys do have a good time in Quebec and that you make it there safely, either with or without Anne's help! And if you end up in Newfoundland, give a shout-out to PEI for me on your way past. You know I love that place!

Aimee said...

Oh Quebecois...Kate, you will adore this place. There are soo many stupid people to make fun of. Oh and the fashion...you're going to die of excitment!! Wish you were hee at the same time as us, cause the entetainment would be priceless!!

MP said...

I sell those Tom Tom units..and have never heard of it ever taking anyone to a field before..or the wrong place at all. The store would be a POI and it would navigate right there. I'd say call in for warrenty work but it seems that it was maybe gerry rigged a bit, huh?
I think I would have thrown it out the window.. :-)

Anonymous said...

Glad I didn't have that piece of fun with me this past week in Quebec...what I did have was frustrating enough and they laughed at me when I got stressed. I couldn't imagine having "Anne" yelling at me to turn!

Jay said...

Hehe, well, it's impressive that he made it himself, but Anne sounds kind of untrustworthy.