Tuesday, August 14, 2007

5 workdays

I meant to post this before my holidays, but ran out of time. I am a firm believer in not wasting a good blog and much like Aimee, I have unpublished blogs rolling around in my head and the only way to rid them is to post.

My last week before my vacation was a nutty one and I had many strange things happen to me so I figured that I would put the events to music. As you read the following events sing the Christmas carol tune of 12 days of Christmas.

On the first day of my work week the crazy things I see,

One pair of red dirty hooker knickers.

On the second day of my work week the crazy things I see,

Two steaming piles of human feces

and a pair of red dirty hooker knickers.


On the third day of my work week the crazy things I see,

Three cockroach "hotels"

Two steaming piles of human feces

and a pair of red dirty hooker knickers.


On the forth day of my work week the crazy things I see,

Four condom wrappers

Three cockroach "hotels"

Two streaming piles of human feces

and a pair of red dirty hooker knickers.


On the fifth day of my work week the crazy things I see,

F-i-v-e Pig-eon Car-cass-es

Four condom wrappers

Three cockroach "hotels"
Two steaming piles of human feces
a-n-d a p-a-i-r o-f r-e-d dir-ty hook-er knic-kers!

(taking a bow to your applause)

Yep...that was my work week...the topper was the red dirty hooker knickers that I found in our ladies washrooms. Picture me off to the washroom to brush my teeth after my 2pm coffee. I am brushing away when I look over to spot a red pair of dirty hooker knickers laying there on the floor not even four feet away from me. I had to take a double look, I mean that is not what I expected to see when I looked over. So I now have my toothbrush in my mouth and feeling a little nausea about nasty panties sharing the same air as my mouth.

I naturally reach into my pocket and pull out my cell to take a picture, as no one will believe me (you all think I exaggerate). As I am leaving the washroom I am troubled by the notion of what had occurred before I enter the facilities. I understand accidents happening. I am not better than everyone else...I too have been ill and shit myself, it happens. However, if your knickers are so soiled that you are no longer able to keep them on your body, do your really think that tossing them onto a public bathroom floor is the best idea. There clearly is a waste receptacle available and really a better choice for all.

I call them dirty hooker knickers as there seemed to be no clear soilage so they must be random sex panties. I am shocked by little, but this one certainly caused me to raise a brow and write a blog.

5 comments:

Debbie said...

Girl... you made me spit my drink...

Shame to waste good beer like that.

Where do you work at again? (kidding) :)

Funny post that... made me laugh... nice work!

MP said...

OMG..it's like you work at a strip club / zoo!!

I'm so glad you added the pictures, visuals help, especially early in the morning.

Ummm...you brush your teeth after your 2pm coffee??

Heather said...

Oh Kate...I don't even know where to go with that one! Knowing my love of Christmas, you can imagine how pleased I was that you incorporated it into your post! But man..that is some nasty stuff you see on a daily basis! I guess maybe I just don't quite understand the need for the hooker knickers and the feces on the floor. I'm thinking you need to build your own bathroom!

Beware: Social Worker on the edge said...

The human feces is out behind the building where I park. Yep that's right someone just crunched one out in the parking lot. God love the Getthos.

Linda said...

Bahahahaha!

OMG that is hilarious...and you chose your profession! Don't you wish you were still working for me, my little sitting by the fire with Mama drinking hot chocolate, little apprentice?!?!?!?

Bet you do! I don't get half as amused by feces and hooker knickers!