Thursday, August 30, 2007

Butt Juice

I have been crop dusted for the second time this week....Jesus Christ cook your food man!

For those who are not familiar with the term crop dusting; To crop dust is to walking in front of someone and release a slow, steady and silent fart. In most cases the "duster" (person releasing the gases) has been holding the fart for some time and the gases emitted are overwhelming and foul.

I walking down the hallway at work earlier this week, when the guy ahead of me laid a ferocious crop dusting. He was coming from the washroom and let it go. Honestly, was there a reason why he could not have done that in the restroom, other than the fact the stench would have made the tiles peel off the wall.

I was in the middle of saying hi to a co-worker as I passed her office when I realized what had occurred. That I was being overcome by the horrific smell of the inside of this guys colon. It smelt like a hamster with another dead hamster stuffed in it's butt, had crawled inside this guys ass and died. I was being consumed by was in my mouth and had to be impregnating my clothing. I finally ducked into the ladies washroom where I washed my hands and face immediately. It was like being sprayed by a skunk, if by a skunk I meant a client's ass.

I hung out in there for a bit to allow the carpet in the hallway to unroll, and of course expressed my experience with the first co-worker I saw.

This afternoon I am walking down the hallway again and I had noticed someone leaving as they turned the corner at the far end. I walked not even 3 steps when I was engulfed in yet another crop dusting. You dirty Bitch...I even said it out loud. Why not there is no one around. This is what I thought until I hear footsteps and see a woman walking up the hall towards me. She is on her way to the washroom. Ah Christ, she is going to think that I am the one with dead hamsters stuffed up my ass. I of course had to follow her in and let her know that men are pigs.


Anonymous said...

Too funny! I can honestly say that the only person that has ever done this to me...well let's just say I share a matrimonial bed with him! 'nuf said.

MP said...

Never heard of crop dusting..I have to tell you..I've done it. It happened on my way to the bathroom at my MIL's house. I got caught too..blamed it on the dog.

The dog was put outside.

Heather said...

Oh Kate, I know you told me this story last night but it is still as funny to me to read it now as it was!!

Brie said...

lol...crop dusting...never EVER heard it called that before!

Kim said...

oh my god


Guess you want some Fabreeze for Christmas?