I have been crop dusted for the second time this week....Jesus Christ cook your food man!
For those who are not familiar with the term crop dusting; To crop dust is to walking in front of someone and release a slow, steady and silent fart. In most cases the "duster" (person releasing the gases) has been holding the fart for some time and the gases emitted are overwhelming and foul.
I walking down the hallway at work earlier this week, when the guy ahead of me laid a ferocious crop dusting. He was coming from the washroom and let it go. Honestly, was there a reason why he could not have done that in the restroom, other than the fact the stench would have made the tiles peel off the wall.
I was in the middle of saying hi to a co-worker as I passed her office when I realized what had occurred. That I was being overcome by the horrific smell of the inside of this guys colon. It smelt like a hamster with another dead hamster stuffed in it's butt, had crawled inside this guys ass and died. I was being consumed by it...it was in my mouth and had to be impregnating my clothing. I finally ducked into the ladies washroom where I washed my hands and face immediately. It was like being sprayed by a skunk, if by a skunk I meant a client's ass.
I hung out in there for a bit to allow the carpet in the hallway to unroll, and of course expressed my experience with the first co-worker I saw.
This afternoon I am walking down the hallway again and I had noticed someone leaving as they turned the corner at the far end. I walked not even 3 steps when I was engulfed in yet another crop dusting. You dirty Bitch...I even said it out loud. Why not there is no one around. This is what I thought until I hear footsteps and see a woman walking up the hall towards me. She is on her way to the washroom. Ah Christ, she is going to think that I am the one with dead hamsters stuffed up my ass. I of course had to follow her in and let her know that men are pigs.