Friday, May 20, 2005

Chivalry is dead!

Chivalry is dead...well at least in our house.

My dear hubby was once a man of this dying breed. I use to think what guy still opens doors and acts with such honor? And in the words of my mother, "This too shall pass".

Lately my dear man has been in a world of his own...Solely his own.

It's his T.V. and we will watch what he wants. I have changed my viewing pleasure to meet his so that I may too enjoy relaxing infront of the tube. We do in fact have a tv upstairs in our bedroom, it's a wonderful 13 incher and it's so brutal on my eyes I usually end up rolling over and going to sleep.

If you know me you know that I am addicted to SIMS and for whatever reason this drives my hubby up and over the edge. It's like he wants to spend time with me, but also wants to watch something ridiculously hideous and is also jealous or put out that I am going upstairs for some down time.

When we are driving in the car (doesn't matter what car or whose driving) it's Mark's f**k'n talk radio. What man in his early thirties listens to talk radio non-stop. I have married my dad. It drives me insane. I get car sick at the drop of a hat and all the talkitty talk talk about politics, UFO's, or conspiracy theories makes me nausea. Especially seeing that we are in my car. It's my dollars that pays it and yet I must endure this bullshit.

Last week we went to a party and while traveling through the backside of the house to get to the door, he let a gate slam in my face. Hey dumb dart, thanks for holding the gate...dick.
He laughed it not so much.

Those who know me know that I am not one to take things lying down and I am certainly not subservient to my husband, but the ongoing battle has exhausted me. He doesn't see it and doesn't get it.

The topper and the reason for this blog occurred this morning.

He has had my car all week to get to work as I belong to a carpool and it's not my week to drive. I jump in my car this morning get onto the highway and ding...gas light, you son of a bitch.
Everytime he takes my car for the week I get it back with no gas in it. He blames it on the fact that I have decided to take the car back from him unexpectedly on the Friday morning and his plan was to get gas on Friday. Well today he had no intention of taking my car to work therefore no intentions of filling it.
So here I am on the highway knowing that I am going to have to pull off at the next exit Bronte and get gas at the Quality Inn lot, which is a freaking nightmare. I am also pissed that the whole drive up to this point is all about me trying to adjust my seat and do I smoke...NO, the why the hell does it smell like nicotine palace in here?

So I pull into the gas station and think ok this will be quick pull in, pump and get biggie. I was mistaken, first the pumps are all full and the only one available is on the wrong side, not a problem I will back up swing around and reverse in. Right, there is a truck that has now been abandon behind me so that I am unable to fully back up and I cannot pull ahead as the pumps in front of me are occupied...Super. So this leads to me performing a graceful 42 point turn in order to back into this spot.

Ok, I get out and throw my debit card in the swiper and beeping, what the f**k. Attempt 2, beeping. On the 3rd pass I discover that this particular pump only takes credit cards at the pump so now I have to pay inside. I fill up and go inside to find the truck driver having a full on conversation with the cashier about the vote last night and how Canada is going to the shits, of course. So I continue to wait for another 7 minutes until I am compelled to break them up in an attempt to save their lives. I am now ready to rip their faces from their bodies.

I get in my car and try to navigate my way out of the lot. The lot is shared by a Tim Hortons without a drivethur which results in people just abandoning their cars everywhere. I have finally made my way to the edge of the driveway and I need to make a left hand turn. The on ramp to the highway is so close I could lick it, but I am trapped here with these dumb darts trying to get into the Tim Hortons....move, move your damn car, I only needed gas, move!
11 minutes, 11 minutes to make a left hand turn and I was the first car. So I am now on the on ramp and breathing deeply, leaving my experience behind.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my husband for his compassion, foresight, and protection into my well being. I believe we may have exchanged a part of a vow that when a little something like this, "to honor and to protect". Now that's amusing.

From now on when I pass by a women on the highway who is at the side of the road pissed off and kicking the living shit out of her car, I will know that chivalry has died in her home too.

Signing off chivalry widow


Mark said...

Read my blog.

Anonymous said...

My dear friend...I feel your pain! He and DH are one of a kind x2!
That's why we love them...We need to get to get together this weekend to commiserate..DH is on his "drishing weekend" Call me!
Love you, stay strong! And you don't need me to tell you..He's an ASS!