Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Odd little creature

Have you ever looked over at your significant other and thought, "you are an odd little creature".

I love my hubby, he's wonderful, but he comes with a ring of oddness. To be fair we all do and I am most likely the poster child for odd habits people have, but the other day I was looking at him and I was flooded with all the things odd about him.

When you first start dating you are looking for the red flags and any sign that you should run hard in the opposite direction. You notice all the nice and kind things he does and assess their pureness as the bottom line is that he is trying to bed you ultimately. You take note if he has good table manners, does he tip well, is he funny...I could go on, but you don't get the chance to meet those hidden quirks until you are sharing a life together.

I am sure many of you are all aware that my hubby is much like a stale Twinkie; Crusty exterior with a creamy delicious filling. But here are some other oddities that you might not know about him. Little things that I have collected along the journey of our marriage.
  1. He proclaimed a few days ago that he hates chicken salad sandwiches as it, "fucks with his senses". He states that although he knows it's chicken he is confused by each bite as he was expecting tuna, which in turn saddens him.
  2. He is obsessed with Gossip Girl, a new T.V. show that started this fall. It is basically a drama about these prep kids that are rich and pretty much able to do what they want. There all cliques and story lines behind each character that slowly unfolds and reveals a little insight each week. A 17 year old girl would love it. Over the course of the last few weeks I have been shushed over 4 times. Last week I was asking about a few of the characters and he was flipping out saying, "why don't you ask during commercial". Lord love us honestly!
  3. He breaks everything, everything. My ladle, my spatula, my purse, etc.
  4. He absolutely freaks out if his hand are sticky or dirty.
  5. He folds his pizza in half to eat it.
  6. He gets Jimmy legs and then whines that he has them and bed time is 2 hours away.
  7. He has a bedtime!
  8. He works 3km from home, but leaves at 7:30 to be there at 8:30. He has a little route that he takes to relax before work. How the hell you relax during morning traffic is beyond me.
  9. Every six months or so he decides that he is going to quit smoking. He goes out and buys 3 months worth of the patch and sticks diligently to the program. He seems proud with his accomplishment of not smoking for almost 4 months, but what he really want is a smoke ...job well done. He is so weak.
  10. He scopes the parking lot for pull-thru spots. I was 9 and half months pregnant and he parked so frick'n far away because he saw a pull-thru. Note: a pull-thur is when one pulls their car into a parking spot only to find that the spot in front of them is too empty and you then pull up into that spot. It is a cheaters reverse parking job.

Just an observation.


Anonymous said...

Your Twinkie is absolutely special! Mine and yours could have been in the same package at birth if not for the age difference! Mine leaves that extra hour early as well to sit relax and meditate for the shift ahead! Really it's to get away before I ask him to do anything!!!
I'm actually not surprised by the Gossip Girl thing! Tell him he can come watch it with Bri...She's hooked as well.

slouching mom said...

That chicken salad quirk is...unusual!


MP said...

My husband likes that Sweet 16 show on MTV and Pimp My Ride. He's 40.

You are 100% right though...he'll say "WHAT?"...and I'm just staring at him wondering WTF is going on in his head for him to think and do the things he does.
Thank God I'm Perfect :-)

The Chick said...

Love your blog....especially the title. I used to be one myself...

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Oh, man. I am so glad its not just me. My husband also breaks everything. Its like he's too rough with things. Or he loses little parts. I've had the same stylus for my Palm pilot for two years and I think he's on his ninth. How hard is it to stick it back in the hole when you're done? Sheez. I hide my pens from him; he has a pen for about as long as the cat has a toy and both end up under the couch. Love the blog!